I went to the supermarket looking for Greaseproof Paper. Bog standard requirement for festive season baking.
First off it was impossible to find at my local overpriced supermarket. Usually there’s one aisle that has things like paper plates, napkins, bin bags, food wrap and baking paper. Often accompanied by detergent and cleaning cloths. Not in our local. Oh no. All the paper plates, dishwashing liquid and other household bits and bobs were together, but could I find Greaseproof? Could I hec.
Finally I found a human to ask, and was pleasantly to find that she was a) knowledgeable b) helpful and c) chirpy and pleasant. Unusual. In the supermarket. In that supermarket. She led me back from whence I had come, to an aisle marked, among other things, ‘lunchwraps’. Never heard of them…
I scanned the shelves but could only find ‘Imitation’ Greaseproof Paper. How the hell can you imitate Greaseproof Paper? I think I could give it a shot; lie down flat and cover myself with butter. No, seriously, how the bloody hell can you imitate Greaseproof Paper? Surely the paper is either greaseproof, or it’s not.
And what’s the point anyway? Where’s the fun in it? I can kind of see the fun in making imitation Strawberry flavour, for example. I don’t see the point, but I do see the fun in working out how many gazillions of different noxious chemicals it takes to reproduce the flavour you can find easily in a naturally occurring, rather delicious in its natural form, thank-you-very-much, fruit. But Greaseproof Paper? Really? I mean, it’s already man made, for heaven’s sake.
I am seasonally befuzzled.
And unimpressed. The stuff is thin and crappy and I’m sure it’ll stick to the sweets I’ve wrapped in it.