If you’re looking for the name for a band, you could do worse than “Mr Chompy”, or “The Mr Chompy Incident” if you fancy.
So I’ve run a lovely bubbly bath for the two little Miss Madelins, and Miss 5 has stripped off and I’m about to help her in when she throws a completely unexpected and totally genuine fit because, apparently, Mr Chompy – the invisible chomping monster, is in there. It’s true, she says, because she dreamt it. Seriously – this is a child who is not known for her tantrums. In fact, in Helensville, New Zealand, where she was born, she was famous for NOT throwing tantrums. (Oh boy, were my friends smug when number two came along – the chubby loud one!) Eventually, after many Mr Chompy checks in which my hand WAS NOT EATEN OFF. Including one check in which I pretented that Mr Chompy had got me and was trying to pull my arm down the plug hole (did NOT go down well – sense of humour failure on the part of my usually-humourful daughter), I persuaded Miss 5 into her bath.
Now for Miss 3. OH HO! She will throw a tantrum at the best of times, but with the introduction of MR CHOMPY (thanks a lot, Miss 5) she was going to throw a doozy.
In short, I got very wet. The bathroom got very wet. Miss 3 got very swiftly washed and hauled out of her bath, un-chomped, and Miss 5 gloomily ‘enjoyed’ having the tub to herself for five minutes. Naturally having taken ten minutes to get into the bath, she then did not wish to leave and it was, allegedly, “NOT FAIR” that I wouldn’t pretend that she was a dolphin…
Never a dull day.
So – it’s me on vocals, who’s on keyboard?
(c) Naomi Madelin